Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Scared to sleep for fear of the Exorcism

I’m 10 weeks pregnant today. I should be happy that I am closer to the point where the morning sickness or Hyperemesis Gravidarum  (extreme morning sickness) in my case, decides to make its exit. However, more immediate matters cloud my mind…

I know I have to get up early to teach a whole day of dance (yay! Not!) to some Year 10 pupils but I’m scared to go to sleep. You see night time has reared its ugly head once again and as has been the case for the last 3 weeks, this is the time when my body decides it wants to puke its heart out.

 “So vomit and get it over and done with!” I hear you cry. I wish I was blessed with the skill to make it come at will but I am not.  Instead, I will do what I have done for the last 21 nights. I will go to bed lie upright, writhe, twist and turn in discomfort ‘til the wee hours of the morning. Then, just as my body starts to relax and wonder off into a deeper level of consciousness, I will feel that all-too-common churning of the stomach. I will get feverishly hot and my limbs will go void of energy, leaving me feeling weak and faint. It is then that I have to use all my remaining strength to take the 4 whole steps it takes to get from my bedroom to the bathroom. There, I will lean over the bath (yes the bath. The toilet is in another room and I prefer to be by the taps where I can splash cold water over me – no judgement!) and wait for the vomit to flow through my body like the an exorcism. As tonight’s dinner greets me on the way back out, I am treated to the putrid smell of bile which further adds to my nauseous state and causes me to retch some more. With each retching action, I can feel a hot tearing sensation in my throat, like someone has taken a molten-hot dagger and sliced the flesh of my oesophagus.  With each regurgitation, my eyes have such pressure behind them it’s as if someone is trying poke them out from the inside. My body continues to convulse and purge the contents of my stomach until it has wrung every last trace of the meal I had so lovingly prepared earlier on. And then…

As I stand there panting, waiting to see if the exorcist has left the building, I look at the rainbow of colours in my bath. Not even Lush baths bombs have blessed (or cursed) my bath with such an array of vivid colours. It would be beautiful, if it was so damned disgusting!  

When my other half isn’t working nights, he loving takes the bowl and washes away the cause of my sleepless night, as I wash my face and place my eyeballs back in their sockets. However, tonight he is not here so that will be my job. After which I will climb back in bed and fall asleep for (if I’m lucky) 2 hours, by then my unrelenting body demands ‘FOOD NOW!’ So I drag my body out of bed and make my way downstairs. I heat up a bowl of cereal. I switch on the TV and put the spoon to my mouth. Mmm...! It tastes so… Owwwww! It’s then that I feel the burning sensation as the food passes the sore spot ‘f***ing bile!’  I miserably and reluctantly finish the bowl and climb back upstairs. I get into bed, sigh and look at the clock. Great! I have to be up in an hour!

It’s now 1.22am. I have a long night ahead of me. L